Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - Agent24

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 8
Prompts / The Uncomfortable
« on: November 10, 2018, 12:29:37 PM »

Could these provide interesting prompts for writing....?

Feedback and Encouragement / Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
« on: October 29, 2018, 08:10:39 AM »
I know I already mentioned this one, but here it is again. (The Ice Skin, James Dickey)

I'm also really liking Charles Bukowski's stuff, like

Feedback and Encouragement / Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
« on: September 22, 2018, 04:10:50 PM »

I could do something
I should do something;
for doing nothing
only entices
more nothingness

but everything depends
on so many other

a simple task
a labyrinthine list
of prerequisites

all the thoughts jam in my head,
all vying to be thought at once-

so many interlocked
branching clauses,

I cannot just do
a thing,
there are so many
multi-faceted aspects
to overthink first.

Feedback and Encouragement / Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
« on: September 22, 2018, 03:29:19 PM »
Overload on Emptiness

I'm sitting here
wasting daylight
wasting energy
wasting my life

stalling myself
with decisive

until today runs out
and I'm excused
from action

so I can tell myself
I didn't have time
to do anything anyway

Feedback and Encouragement / Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
« on: September 04, 2018, 09:18:57 PM »
I don't know of much else to say except that I can relate to both of these a lot right now.

Feedback and Encouragement / Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
« on: August 24, 2018, 08:46:06 AM »
Thanks, I too will try to get something else online soon.

Feedback and Encouragement / Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
« on: June 24, 2018, 03:59:22 PM »
I managed to scrape this one out today.


all has gone
or will go

defeat falls
across me

the tunnel
ends in darkness

i am hope’s
empty promise

i am so tired
of trying

      * * *

in my mind
there is nothing

no words
or sentences

no reason
or purpose

simply a void
a black hole

an implosion
of the self

    * * *

i am broken
like faded sunlight

worn out
like stagnant air

a shell-shocked

staring down
the inevitable

silently screaming
for oblivion

Feedback and Encouragement / Japanese Juxtaposition
« on: June 19, 2018, 10:00:13 PM »
For some reason I thought a new topic was probably in order by now? The name reflects the situational context of my mind. Whatever that means. Perhaps my Wasabi-themed hairdo has detrimentally impacted all cognitive function.

To write a poem
Is my desire
But I shall find
My hair on fire

And if the flames
Cannot be quenched
I'll find myself
To be entrenched

I must concur
With all that follows
Even as I squeeze
The bellows

For if my hair
Does not burn bright
I'll freeze to death
This chilly night

I took this rhyme
From mister Wonka
While doing burnouts
In my Tonka

It makes no sense
I can attest
This effort's really
Not my best

So I say nowt
Now but goodnight
And hope my hair
Will stay alight.

Feedback and Encouragement / Re: American Anger
« on: June 16, 2018, 09:57:15 PM »
I went to Japan
I thought it was grand
Now I've emotionally crashed
And this poem is just sad

Feedback and Encouragement / Re: American Anger
« on: June 07, 2018, 10:44:03 AM »
I like the poems! Both similar style, interesting. It's nice to get in other people's heads and remember our similarities.

I have been so busy I have barely written anything but I have a lot of photos and video and my feet feel like they're going to fall off.

I went to an art museum the day before yesterday, wish they had allowed photos. Benesse House I think it's called. I'm trying to write something about it.

Feedback and Encouragement / Re: American Anger
« on: June 02, 2018, 01:03:09 AM »
I haven't done much because I'm on holiday!

I hope to post something interesting soon if I can. Lack of sleep has prevented much thinkage though, and internet access is inconsistent.

Feedback and Encouragement / Re: American Anger
« on: May 28, 2018, 08:08:12 PM »
I inspired myself with some food poetry we did today, and wrote this while walking the beach at Mission Bay:

And what if our lives
went trundling past
in cardboard boxes
set proudly atop
the bright red steel
of imitation
Radio Flyer wagons
from China,

And when we saw the one
with our life in it,
we had to chase it down the street
trying to catch it
before it disappeared?

What a sight it would be
to see everyone
running after
cardboard boxes
as if their life
depended on it.

Feedback and Encouragement / Re: American Anger
« on: May 26, 2018, 09:53:54 PM »
Did my 30 mins of mostly staring. Wrote this..

I don’t feel like chocolate at the moment
I don’t feel like anything
I hate when Word tells me to use more concise language
like it’s a mistake to use words how you want
and let them express what they want on a page

it underlines in red the word mistake
like even a mistake is a mistake
poetry is anything that burns
and paper burns well
but words burn longer

I like it. But I love the last 3 lines.

The only thing I managed to write was:
"The situation is so serious even The Joker doesn't think it's funny any more."

Feedback and Encouragement / Re: American Anger
« on: May 22, 2018, 08:12:38 AM »
You have invented a new treatment, blank page exposure therapy for writer's block  :P
Hope it works  :D

Regarding feedback, it's just my opinion of course, and it's your work so always follow what you think is best, obviously.

I must admit I never made it to the festival :( I hope you had fun though?

Feedback and Encouragement / Re: American Anger
« on: May 19, 2018, 08:35:31 AM »
To start might stop
But to start
I cannot

Writer's block
I really like the rhythm in this part, I think if the whole poem followed the same rhythm it would be even better than it already is.
I can definitely imagine a stonemason laying down bricks to the same rhythm.

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 8