The Society of Everyday Nonsense

For Writers => Feedback and Encouragement => Topic started by: Agent24 on June 19, 2018, 10:00:13 pm

Title: Japanese Juxtaposition
Post by: Agent24 on June 19, 2018, 10:00:13 pm
For some reason I thought a new topic was probably in order by now? The name reflects the situational context of my mind. Whatever that means. Perhaps my Wasabi-themed hairdo has detrimentally impacted all cognitive function.

To write a poem
Is my desire
But I shall find
My hair on fire

And if the flames
Cannot be quenched
I'll find myself
To be entrenched

I must concur
With all that follows
Even as I squeeze
The bellows

For if my hair
Does not burn bright
I'll freeze to death
This chilly night

I took this rhyme
From mister Wonka
While doing burnouts
In my Tonka

It makes no sense
I can attest
This effort's really
Not my best

So I say nowt
Now but goodnight
And hope my hair
Will stay alight.
Title: Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
Post by: Agent24 on June 24, 2018, 03:59:22 pm
I managed to scrape this one out today.


all has gone
or will go

defeat falls
across me

the tunnel
ends in darkness

i am hope’s
empty promise

i am so tired
of trying

      * * *

in my mind
there is nothing

no words
or sentences

no reason
or purpose

simply a void
a black hole

an implosion
of the self

    * * *

i am broken
like faded sunlight

worn out
like stagnant air

a shell-shocked

staring down
the inevitable

silently screaming
for oblivion
Title: Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
Post by: Antelope on July 04, 2018, 04:58:57 pm
Wonderful poems! Thank you for sharing Aaron  :D
Title: Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
Post by: Serena on August 20, 2018, 02:55:32 pm
I like the poems!

I think it's time for me to re-appear. I'll try to post at least every week from now on  :)

Title: Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
Post by: Agent24 on August 24, 2018, 08:46:06 am
Thanks, I too will try to get something else online soon.
Title: Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
Post by: TSA1984 on August 28, 2018, 05:28:18 pm
This is the one I mentioned on Hangouts. I don't like the first two parts, but they're essential for what I want to say. 

AOutside my family 

The first person I ever knew to die was Ildico Matskasi, our neighbor. I was 5
The second was Te Aroha. She had leukemia, she was 22
The third was John Togiama. Heart attack at 59

In my family, there was uncle Garth, suicide at 37
Grandad. It’s perverse to know the age of your grandparents
And my partner’s grandfather. When you’re 97, everyone knows your age

Three each. A collection that grows as you get older.
The suit that Tom was buried in - we found a program for another funeral in the pocket
grief is like money. The more you have, the stranger it becomes. 
Death and money are all so much noise

The dead are so small
The living have a presence larger than the space they physically occupy
Everything that doesn’t fit in a box is what dies
The living don’t fit in boxes

Usually the void calls the call of the unknown
It no longer calls when it’s seen
still incomprehensible, but now visible
to see someone small is too see the void
and all of a sudden the void repulses

The void sickens the living. It’s the death of meaning
The death of everything that does not fit in a box
and the elevation of grief to noise
the elevation of noise to white noise

Title: Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
Post by: Serena on August 29, 2018, 08:21:01 pm
Thanks for sharing that, I like it, especially the third paragraph.

I'm proud of myself for writing and editing a little bit today for the first time in over a week. Still a rough version but hopefully will tidy it up in time for artweek.

This is a list
of things I don’t want
to do anymore:
smile at people for their sake
say “yes” when I mean “no”

be told off in the supermarket for not pressing the right button at the self-checkout and then take it personally
worry about what people think of my clothing choices
be told I am inferior for taking care of myself
leave my lunch in my bag, untouched, because there’s someone else in the room

dance with you when it’s awful and you hurt my arms and breathe in my face
I’m not getting paid for this
I’ve paid to be here and enjoy myself
where does caring end?

hurry because you’re in a hurry
risk my life to arrive 30 seconds earlier
tell you I’m good when I’m not
pretend to be on my phone so I don’t have to please you; stranger at the bus stop

an offer can be rejected
a request denied
no questions asked
no judgement given

sit at home not reading because I’m incapable of finishing a book, so why start?
sit at home in pain and do nothing
sit with my back hunched against the cold, concrete-block wall when I could stretch and feel nourished and strong
ignore the journals full of words and think why bother writing when it never leads to anything I’m pleased with

exhaust myself for the sake of pride
reply instantly
reciprocate asap so as not to feel in debt
laugh at your jokes when I don’t care
nod when I don’t agree
let you play in my head all night when that’s my time

who gave you the right to take up space in my mind without paying rent?
Title: Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
Post by: Agent24 on September 04, 2018, 09:18:57 pm
I don't know of much else to say except that I can relate to both of these a lot right now.
Title: Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
Post by: Agent24 on September 22, 2018, 03:29:19 pm
Overload on Emptiness

I'm sitting here
wasting daylight
wasting energy
wasting my life

stalling myself
with decisive

until today runs out
and I'm excused
from action

so I can tell myself
I didn't have time
to do anything anyway
Title: Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
Post by: Agent24 on September 22, 2018, 04:10:50 pm

I could do something
I should do something;
for doing nothing
only entices
more nothingness

but everything depends
on so many other

a simple task
a labyrinthine list
of prerequisites

all the thoughts jam in my head,
all vying to be thought at once-

so many interlocked
branching clauses,

I cannot just do
a thing,
there are so many
multi-faceted aspects
to overthink first.
Title: Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
Post by: Serena on October 24, 2018, 11:09:39 am
Keep forgetting to check-in but here we go.

This week I haven't done any writing but as per Agent24's suggestion I have been trying to read a poem everyday.

So far this is my favourite (
Title: Re: Japanese Juxtaposition
Post by: Agent24 on October 29, 2018, 08:10:39 am
I know I already mentioned this one, but here it is again. (The Ice Skin, James Dickey)

I'm also really liking Charles Bukowski's stuff, like